Everyone agrees that it is impossible to stop teens from dating, especially when they are infatuated and blinded by hearts all over the place. It is common to hear them say, “no matter what age we’re in or how young we are, true love is true love, and we are completely happy in our relationship”.
Yes, very romantic. But seriously, how old are you? 16? How much do you know about how to manage a relationship? Think about it, is this worth your time? Or is it just a sudden decision and a temporary feeling that will lead you on the wrong path?
I am not against true love, but it is just immature and irrational for high school students to rush into a relationship with someone when it interferes so much in their lives.
You don’t know yourself enough, you don’t know them enough either
High school is when students reach puberty and are most affected by hormones. This contributes to them acting impulsively without thinking about the long run.
This impulsiveness causes students to get into a relationship without considering whether their partner is the type of person they want to spend the rest of their lives with. Sure, people need to learn from experiences sooner or later, but there is school work and future preparations that should be a priority during this time.
Another point is that students often pretend to be adults or to be more mature than they really are, when the reality is that their intellectual and emotional abilities are not entirely developed. Teenagers are kids; we are incompetent compared to adults when it comes to emotions. We can exaggerate a joke into something negative, or take a careless comment too seriously. We get hurt very easily.
You spend less time with friends
Dating someone means less time to be with friends. Do you want to know how your friends feel? Here you go.
I have a friend at school who, like me, was a transfer student in our class. We became friends and spent time during literally every break chatting about everything. We had night study together, where we stayed after school for a study session, and so we used to walk together to our school buses after it ended. One day, she told me that she kinda had a crush on a boy who was in her class last year, but they ended up in different classes after transferring to our program. After a few weeks they ended up dating. Then it felt like something was different.
Although we still talk every day, our conversations always became gossip about her and her boyfriend. After night study she would come up to me and say “I gotta go, he’s waiting for me, bye.” I’m not gonna lie, it doesn’t feel good. Although I’m not against that guy, it’s like losing a friend who would always be by your side. This is what I mean by less time with friends.
Dating affects your relationship with your family
Although some Taiwanese parents have become more open-minded and allow their kids to date, most students in Taiwan don’t feel comfortable telling their parents when they are dating someone.
The hard part is when your parents find out after you lie to them. I have a friend whose parents are really strict about dating. She dated a boy and hid their relationship from her parents.
Later on, of course, her parents found out and were not happy about it, so her dad gave her a lecture for an hour or two. Imagine how disappointed the father was when he found out, and how mad the daughter was when her father took her phone and scrolled through everything.
It’s simply a waste of time
I bet almost every single teenage couple knows deep in their hearts that their relationship will end someday, but they tend to avoid the thought and convince themselves that they’ll deal with that later.
You will, very likely, break up sometime, so why not save your tears? Why not spend time on making yourself more of a knowledgeable and successful person? Why not do anything besides giving your heart to something that will turn into nothing?
The breakups make it not worth it
Teenage breakups not just hurt, they can kill. This might sound like exaggerating, but it is undeniably a serious problem. Breakups are one of the major causes of teenage suicide and substance use.
According to Lucia O’Sullivan, a professor of Psychology at the University of New Brunswick, “40 percent of adolescents experienced clinical depression following a romantic relationship dissolution; another 12 percent reported moderate to severe depression.”
You might think you are far away from breaking up or getting depression, but are you sure you will not be affected at all?
I have a friend who had a crush on a girl in our class; he was so in love with her but he knew he had no chance, so he sent me Bruno Mars’ song “Grenade” and told me that it was exactly how he felt. He must have cried his heart out.
Another example: I heard from a classmate that she knew a friend who skipped school for weeks because of being dumped and swore that she would never date someone ever again.
You might think these are good experiences that add to a student’s emotional skills, but think about the time spent on dealing with these emotions and how these emotions interfere with their lives negatively. Isn’t it better if a teenager focuses on building up for their future and then, if necessary, face these heartbreaks when they are emotionally more mature?
Dating in high school doesn’t benefit you in any way
A lot of teenage dating supporters suggest that dating is the best way for students to learn about other individuals, how to build self-identity, self-esteem, social skills, and how to grow emotionally. It does sound convincing enough to make teenagers feel like they should date.
But is it really the best way to help students learn these important skills? Is dating more effective at teaching these skills than spending time with a group of friends and interacting with more than a single person? The answer is no. Sure, romantic relationships and friendships are completely different, but when some teenagers don’t even have the emotional abilities to properly interact with their friends (they talk behind each other’s backs, sometimes even fight or ignore their friends), how can we expect them to not do something bad to their boyfriends or girlfriends?
In fact, research from the University of Georgia suggests that non-dating students have better interpersonal skills than the ones dating. According to this study, the students who didn’t date had better social skills, leadership skills, positive relationships, and less depression or suicidal thoughts.
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Although high school students never want to admit it, they are not old enough to handle anything that comes out of dating. It affects their relationships with friends and family, there is only a tiny chance it would turn out to last, and most importantly, they would need to endure mood swings. Dating during high school will end up giving students more negative effects than the romantic scenes they’ve always dreamed of.
If you are a teenager, keep in mind that when you rush into a relationship without thinking thoroughly, you might say things you don’t mean and make promises you can’t keep. Liking someone is definitely okay, but you might want to think twice before you step into a relationship with them.
Read the other side of the debate here.
I found this article really informative! Being someone who has dealt in the dating realm and had an experience in this realm recently. I also agree with all the points made here and will not be dealing with dating in my school life anymore. Never again!