When parents find out that their teen is investing too much time in their social life at the expense of their school work, they panic. Too often when parents don’t know how to deal with their kids’ social lives, they resort to creating rules to limit socialization.

Parents setting rules about teens’ social lives is one of the worst ways to educate kids. Creating rules to limit friendships is never going to convince a teen to stop chatting online with their friends. In fact, teens will most likely break these rules and begin hiding things from their parents.

Parents should not try to stop teens’ friendships from happening. They should instead try to talk to and reach a compromise with their kids. By doing so, they can minimize conflict and teens will be more willing to accept their parent’s advice.

Rules can backfire

Parents often set rules to restrict the amount of time their teens spend socializing. Teens are rebellious and rules don’t always work.

When parents set up rules about a teen’s social life, the teen will look for ways to get past these rules. There are many things that a teen will do in order to socialize without their parents knowing. The most common example is when a teen uses their smartphone or computer in secret.

My friend Edna has parents that don’t allow her to use social media. So if she wants to chat with her friends, she uses her phone or computer in secret. After using these devices, she deletes her chat history to avoid getting caught.

Parents setting rules and restrictions about a teen’s social life is encouraging the teen to find ways to socialize with their friends in secret. Rules about socialization only backfire.

Parents should talk to their teens

There are many ways parents can constructively help manage their teens’ social lives. Parents can talk to teens about their friendships. This can help teens since adults have more experience with friendships and can offer advice. This way, teens are able to maintain a good relationship with their parents. Plus, when they get into a fight with their friends, they can rely on their parents for support.

If parents are worried that having a social life can distract teens, they can always talk to their kids about their academic situations and goals. Parents should know that no matter what, teens will socialize because socializing is part of everyday life.

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I am a teen who struggles to find a balance between my school work and my friendships. I find that when my parents choose to talk to me about my social life instead of preventing me from having one, I am able to solve this problem because I have the support and the advice from my parents.

My solution for this can minimize the amount of conflicts between parents and teens. Teens will develop social lives at some point. So why don’t parents just help their teens and support them when needed? When teens are going through a tough phase it’s better for parents and teens to be on good terms.