What is a pick-me girl?

This term comes up a lot, especially in recent social media. But what does this mean?

A pick-me girl is broadly just any girl who claims or acts as if she is unlike most other girls, in order to gain attention from boys. They say they’re “different” from other girls, and they often appeal to what boys would like more in girls. Degrading themselves, mocking girls, and making fun of their gender for male validation are just some of the things they do.

For you to better understand, here are some common phrases they say or ideas that are strongly associated with them.

Phrases they say

• “Women DO belong in the kitchen” – no they don’t.
• “Oh my gosh my hands are so small, let’s compare” – we all know you just want to hold his hand.
• “I only hang out with boys because they are less drama” – no, Emily, you hang out with them because you lack male validation and female friends.
• “I never wear makeup, it’s so unnatural” – we all know you can’t do makeup.
• “I will literally fight you” – no you won’t.

There are also a lot of scenarios that are associated with them. A well-known one is this scene: two boys are fighting, and she rushes to one of the boys and says this: “This is not you, Josh. I know you. Look at me. You’re better than this. Please stop… for me.” They think they can make a difference when they clearly cannot.

Name explaining

But why are they called “pick me” girls? Well, it’s simple: they want guys to “pick them”. In other words, they want guys to date them. Boys love these types of girls. They find them attractive because they praise men and act vulnerable and weak. Which, by the way, is really creepy if you think about it. Why do you need a weak, tiny girlfriend? Is it because you need to constantly feel superior, thus finding a girl who totally submits to you?

Normal people bash pick-me girls a lot, and I mean A LOT. You can find videos about pick-me girls on all types of social media like Tiktok or Instagram, and you can really tell every other type of girl hates pick-me girls. However, if they are hated so much, why do so many girls choose to be this way?

The upsides and downsides of being a pick-me girl

Being a pick-me girl has its benefits. They’re not called pick me-girls for no reason; guys actually pick them. If you are desperate for male validation, being a pick-me girl could get you the results you’re looking for.

With benefits, there are downsides. Other people will make fun of you a lot. There’s this pick-me girl in my class, and she doesn’t know this, but people talk about her, and how she always brings her voice up and keeps her friend group exclusive to boys. I have no problems with the rest of her personality, but I will not stop talking about her pick-me actions until the day that she stops.

Why they should not exist

I’ve stated multiple times already that I laugh at pick-me girls a lot, but why? Why can’t girls just leave them alone and let them be happy with the boys?

This is because they usually do things other women find questionable. They are victims of internalized misogyny. They say things like “women belong in the kitchen” or, as famous Republican Kaitlin Bennet once said, “women shouldn’t have the right to vote because we get too emotional”. Who says that? She’s degrading herself so much just for male approval, and it hurts boys’ views on girls. Boys may pick up on these actions, and think degrading women is a fun and typical thing to do. This is simply wrong. With the rise of pick-me girls, boys will soon find degrading girls to be normal, and it truly hurts women.

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In conclusion, pick me girls are a must-go. Even if they aren’t as extreme as the examples above, they still are annoying. However, most of these girls don’t even know that they’re being labeled as a pick-me girl. They probably just know that these actions will attract boys, and that is what they want. They don’t know what they do can hurt women’s image so terribly, so they just continue to be this way.

We can’t do much about them, and there will always be pick-me girls around us, but for now, I will continue to make fun of them, and by using laughter, I hope I can actually awaken some of them and let them see how ridiculous they seem and sound from an outsider’s perspective.