One of my friends used to obsess over an idol. She spent all of her time following every detail of the idol’s life on social media, spent an unreasonable amount of money on merch and concerts, and even referred to him as her boyfriend. One day, she saw the news that he had a girlfriend. She broke out crying and was depressed for weeks. Maybe this has been you or is someone you know. This behavior is called having parasocial relationships.

What are parasocial relationships?

Have you ever imagined chatting with characters on TV shows? This is called having parasocial interactions. People have imagined exchanges with celebrities or characters they see in the media. Everyone imagines things like this sometimes, like when they are daydreaming.

Some people often watch shows of certain celebrities and imagine interacting with them a lot, until they feel there is a bond between them and the celebrities. When the imagined interactions extend to when you are not watching TV, it becomes a parasocial relationship.

Parasocial relationships are when you develop an imagined relationship without knowing the person. This often happens between fans and celebrities. People in parasocial relationships see celebrities as their friends, romantic interests, or even as family.

Parasocial relationships are one-directional relationships, in which people feel they know a person, but the other person is unaware. You might think you know so much about your Kpop idol since you follow their updates on Twitter every day. However, having so many fans, your idol probably has no idea who you are.

Parasocial relationships are okay if they remain a fun fantasy, but can be unhealthy if they extend beyond that.

The effects of parasocial relationships

Parasocial relationships are fantasy. However, some people come to believe these fantasies so much and can’t accept the truth.

There is no lack of news about sasaeng fans, who are obsessed fans that invade idols’ privacy, stalk idols, and try to get involved in their private lives. Some even assault their idols. This is one way parasocial relationships can be dangerous.

Another danger of parasocial relationships is when idols or celebs take advantage of fans. Some influencers create paid content for fans who pay monthly, like special streams, for a chance for fans to interact directly with them. This makes fans more willing to spend money and helps the influencers gain more loyalty.

Businesses and celebrities often take advantage of parasocial relationships for marketing and profit. Fans experiencing this level of obsession may spend more money than they should.

For example, in Japan, fans spend money for hugs or other “interactions” with underground idols, who are “idols” that are not represented by a management company but still attract a sizable following. A minute of interaction can cost as high as 12 USD.

However, for fans, parasocial interactions still have some benefits. According to research by psychologists in the journal Frontiers in Psychology, parasocial relationships can provide a safe way to help teenagers experience different ways of living. Also, research published by International Association for Relationship Research says parasocial relationships may help people with low self-esteem become more like their ideal selves.

So, while parasocial relationships can be harmful and a sign of mental illness, they are not entirely toxic, which means we should try to understand them better.

Why people should learn what parasocial relationships are

Parasocial relationships were first noticed by psychologists in the 50s. With the rise of the internet, the world has seen an explosion of famous personalities, like influencers and web stars.

Also, social media has made interacting with influencers easier, and has made fans feel less distant from their idols, making parasocial relationships more common.

For example, celebrities can repost and like hundreds of posts and comments from fans in a day. However, to fans, they feel their idol has seen them.

People are now more likely to get into parasocial relationships than ever before. Therefore, it is important to learn about what these relationships are and be mindful if you are becoming too obsessive in a parasocial relationship. Also, you should learn how influencers and companies use parasocial relationships to make money.

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Obsessing over an influencer and spending time on them can be fine. However, indulging in unhealthy parasocial relationships can be unhealthy. Learn about parasocial relationships and be aware if you are taking it too far. By doing so, you can enjoy your time stargazing.