Why tests are an evil instrument of torture: Kyle Huang – Grade 8

Apr 1, 2017 | 4 comments

  • Tests are teachers’ secret weapons.
  • Not testing well greatly diminishes students’ self-esteem.
  • Testing takes up an inordinate amount of students’ time.

Tests are incredible wastes of time for Jr. High students. They are useless sheets of old paper that torture our minds to answer completely out of topic questions. It depresses students and sucks the light of hope out of them by giving them scrolls and scrolls of useless questions that no one cares about.

So, someone needs to do something to end our misery before all of us go insane and overthrow the Department of Education. Somebody please build a test taking machine. Lots of adults may think that we students are just too lazy to take tests, but you are wrong!



Secret weapons

Why are there so many tests? Test are the secret weapons of teachers, and many parents think that they are just tools for the teachers to help us learn. The truth, however, is the exact opposite.

The Department of Education is actually made up of a group of people who especially hate children (including the teachers), but they can’t actually do anything to us. So instead, they made up tons and tons of tests for torturing and suffocating our minds. We are getting tired of this. Someone has to end this before things get out of hand.

Depression

Tests are like demons that crush our minds by giving us unsolvable questions. Even if you did study really hard, teachers use completely off topic questions, then, when your mom sees your score, you get yelled at.

Therefore our self-esteem becomes greatly diminished. This has to stop before all students start to jump off buildings.

A Complete Waste of Time

Many people think that tests are for knowing how much you understand a particular subject, but a lot of tests for students now are completely unrelated to what they’ve learned; barely any answers can be found in the textbooks we study in class.

Tests kill time. In school, tests take up more than a whole hour! Just sitting in front of your desk and writing, just think how much learning you could do during that time!

Tests only lead to two deadly outcomes:

  1. Students plan an invasion to overthrow the Department of Education, which could start a serious civil war between the teachers and students in Taiwan, or,
  2. Too much pressure and depression caused by tests could lead to massive social problems.

So now you understand the evil nature of tests. Please somebody build a test taking machine for us before it’s too late.

4 Comments

  1. pam

    the writer was being unreasonably emotional. The reasons and the sentences showed how naive she was when writing. Moreover, as a Jr high school student in Taiwan, my teachers don’t like to make us take test.
    There is no need for unnecessary panic or emotion of anti-Mynister of Education.

    Reply
    • Taipei Teen Tribune

      Thanks for your comment! We will be sure to use it as an example for our writers to improve their editing and grammar skills. If you’d also like improve them, please contact us.

      Also, we encourage you, and all readers, to look up the words “satire”, “humor”, and “hyperbole.” Having a basic understanding of these terms as well as a developed sense of humor is critical to comprehension. Thanks again!

      Reply
  2. Swagger

    Combustion.

    Reply
  3. josambro

    Kyle, good post. My only suggestion is to re-think your conclusion:

    “So now you understand the evil nature of tests. Please somebody build a test taking machine for us before it’s too late.”

    I suggest instead that you dismantle the test giving machine instead!

    Rock on, Kyle.

    Reply

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