Think about the popular girls in your school and what they’re like. Are they pretty? Skinny? Cute? Well then are they funny? Nice? Or are they mean? Arrogant? Think about their personality traits and what has made them popular. Were they so nice that everyone wanted to be their friend, or are they just good-looking?

Social status defined by superficiality

In my school, there’s a group of people that everyone considers “popular”. Just a disclaimer, I am able to speak about them and know them well because one of my best friends is the most popular girl in our grade. When someone asks me to describe them, the first words that come to my mind are “pretty”, “skinny”, and “have a lot of Instagram followers”. But I realized that these words are all adjectives about the outside of a person.

Notice how I didn’t name any traits about the inside, like being generous or being kind. Of course I’m not implying that they aren’t kind and generous, but they are so used to attracting attention with their looks that they don’t feel a need to develop a healthy or sociable persona. All they have to do is smile and act cute, and then they get all the boys chasing after them and all the girls jealous but still wanting to be friends with them. In other words, teenagers are shallow.

Unlike people who are less good-looking, according to modern standards, this group of “popular” kids did not have to work hard and develop good personalities just so they could have friends. They’re kind of like a pretty water bottle: pretty on the outside, but on the inside, they’re just plain.

Peer pressure

But what exactly influences teenagers? Well, these popular people are the ones who influence others of the same age. When we see them all happy and popular because of their looks, we think to ourselves, “Is this what it takes to be popular? If I become prettier, will I have more friends?” Well, this problem has different answers. The answer is no, looks shouldn’t matter – but yes, in reality, looks do matter.

These “popular” groups in schools have a negative influence on others. They make us insecure, thinking that we’ll never be as popular as they are. They also get us thinking, “why can they be so popular with absolutely no personality? Are looks really enough?”

These kinds of thoughts lead to many different problems. Some students cry themselves to sleep thinking they can never be good enough; others hate themselves for not being pretty enough when in reality they look fine.

Teenagers are shallow, but they grow out of it… mostly.

Slowly while we grow up, we may realize that looks aren’t everything, but in our teenage phase, looks play a huge role in our social life. How good-looking you are determines your level and amount of friends. You may be a sweet and nice person, but the girl sitting next to you who’s rude and awful to people still has more friends than you because, that’s right, she’s “pretty”. This also affects us because by living in this atmosphere, we gradually become comfortable with the fact that looks are more important than personality.

Although one might not admit it, we make friends based on looks as well. You might think, “Hey, if I’m friends with that pretty girl over there, maybe I could be more popular.” That’s why one of my friends who is really pretty gets so many DMs from different people every single day. They always say you’re so pretty, and so nice, I really want to get to know you better. We all know that’s bullshit.

Teenagers are shallow because they crave social status

If we know that looks don’t actually matter that much, then why do we care? This goes back to a really basic fact – we all want to be popular. Most of us do not want to admit that, so I will. It feels really good being popular. Waving at all the people in the halls, people DMing you saying they want to be friends or they want to take pictures with you, or all the people that wish you “Happy Birthday” even though you don’t know who they are, it feels REALLY good.

Maybe I’m not that popular, but it’s fair to say that when I have received this kind of attention, I kind of feel superior to others. Many of my friends who aren’t popular try hard to become more so, and as an outsider watching, I would say that they look shallow. Still, they try to be more popular.

It’s who you are inside that matters

In conclusion, teenagers are shallow. They care about looks over anything. This might seem like a good thing for the “attractive” ones, however, it can seriously harm those that aren’t so pretty. They might feel insecure and hate themselves, hate themselves for not being good enough, but they are good enough. They just don’t fit into what teenagers are looking for now.

Teenagers have to realize that looks don’t actually help you with anything. Yeah, sure, maybe you could flirt your way out of a parking ticket, or get a free drink at a bar, but what does that actually mean? I don’t think that is something anyone should be proud of. Looks might seem essential now because it could help you make friends, but in the future, it doesn’t matter. There’s no need to feel bad about yourselves because you don’t fit a certain set of superficial standards. Because in the end, it’s who you are inside that matters.