The stages of a teenage relationship | Phil Wang – Grade 10

Sep 3, 2018 | 34 comments

  • The start of a relationship always begins with a crush
  • The “I love you” period can be extreme for teenagers
  • The Honeymoon phase is best and the worst period during a relationship

People often hear the phrase, “a woman’s heart is like a needle in the sea”, but actually, there is another group of people whose hearts are harder to examine: teenagers in relationships. Most parents of teenagers have trouble understanding their children’s feelings, which makes children flee their homes and the parents have to call the police. There are four phases and two endings in a relationship, and teenagers have different feelings and actions during these periods.



The Crush Phase

The start of a relationship always begins with a crush. No crush, no love. Teenagers often feel shy and embarrassed because their hearts beat fast when they see the crush or when they hear other people talking about the crush. They feel anxious about what the crush is doing at every moment, and feel secretly excited when they take a step near the crush. However, the crush might feel smothered by the signals from the “crusher” because love can make people act strange and do things they normally wouldn’t, like send 10 text messages or write bad poetry. Parents might have had the same feelings when they were teens, but all things are wiped away by time, so parents forget the feelings of having a crush, the sweet and sour tastes of love, and the passion to find a true love.

The “I Love You” Phase

After the crush comes the “I love you” phase. In this instance, assume we are talking about a boy having a crush on a girl. During this period, the boy will pick up his courage and tell the girl that he loves her, and, if the girl is impressed by what the boy has done, a new couple appears, and if not, the boy will certainly feel heartbreak and either make a second attempt later on or weep in the bathroom all day long. This period can be extreme for teenagers since the intersection leads to either heaven or hell, and a wrong step can ruin the dream of becoming a couple. Parents can feel tension in their children during this period but do not know why. They ask about what is happening, but the irritable kids almost never give any answers. This stresses the situation between both sides, and teenagers have concerns about both school and their homes.

The Honeymoon Phase

Next is the Honeymoon phase. This is the best and the worst period during a relationship. The couple feels love, pride, and confidence while they are holding hands, showing everyone how much they love each other. Both sides feel secure and sweet because they know someone cares about them and loves them as much as their parents. However, there are also worries that exist. Both sides are scared about the other side having an affair, so any messaging with another boy or girl will be seen as betrayal. This is when jealousy, frustration, and insecurity take place. Sordid celebrity affairs on gossip TV news are extreme examples of these feelings. The celebs hurt their other half in order to stay together forever, but this is not love anymore, this is desire. Parents may feel that their children have suddenly made a very good friend, but they do not know why, and when they ask children about their new paramour, the teen often avoids answering any of the questions.

The Burnt Out Phase

Finally comes the burnt out phase. This counts as the end of the Honeymoon phase because both sides lose interest in the other, and most couples break up. At this time, teenagers feel impatient, dried out, and stressed towards the other half either because of the lack of interest or dislike towards the bad habits of the other half. The relationship becomes unstable and all the ridiculous scenarios in soap operas happen in real life. Teenagers during this period are the most unreasonable creatures on Earth. If one side gets another boy or girlfriend, the other side feels betrayed, and revenge plans start to pop out into their minds, making them the most dangerous animal that ever existed.

(Warning: We do not want any tragedy to happen, so if you have any thought of hurting your boy/girlfriend, please ask an adult for help or something.)

The Freedom of Breaking Up

Due to the burnt out phase, couples have to make a choice between breaking up or learning to accept each other again. It is very hard to like each other again, but if this is the case, the relationship will last for a very long time because the couple’s relationship becomes super stable after overcoming this huge obstacle. But in most cases, the couple breaks up and feels the extravagant taste of freedom. The feeling of freedom will impact those teenagers for a long time until they feel lonely again. They stop looking at text messages every second and spend more time hanging out with friends. Parents feel like their children are willing to communicate with them again, and the gaps between the parents and the children are overcome.

Finding Another Half

There is another ending after the couple breaks up: finding another boyfriend or girlfriend. This is also a common way of ending a relationship because one side of the couple gets bored of the other side and wants to find a new taste. For some reason, the side finding the other half is often the boy but not the girl. The news always talks about which celebrity is having an affair again, and the celebrity is seldom a female. In the end, the betrayed side will be very depressed and devastated.

Relationships during adolescence do not last long. It is a waste of time to put too much effort into them. However, having some relationship experience can help in dealing with different kinds of situations when kids grow up, and also help when deciding who they want to spend the rest of their lives with. Teenagers have the most sensitive feelings, especially during relationships, and these feelings contribute to the development of their personality and future.

34 Comments

  1. Mical Neriah John

    sometimes people hurt you so bad that even your soul gets a scar ….. well i’m talking about myself but no offense to my words i’m in the freedom phase still trying to find how to stay happy without the boy i love .but i think it’s time to move on after reading this…
    Thanks alot this helped alot to understand where i was wrong in my life

    Reply
    • Sophie

      So true. I am in the Burnt out stage but i think it’s time for me to move on as well.

      Reply
    • Tali

      literally didn’t ask, ur literally trauma dumping for no reason. I don’t get why you feel the need to do this on an article where people coming are probably confused and looking for answers in their relationship. Please make sure you think about your actions/thoughts before you type them out for people online to see.

      Reply
  2. Mark stoller

    Legit this is absolutely false. If you want to know the phases, truth is…. you can’t. It’s different for every relationship.

    Reply
    • Destiny Graham

      Yes, You are correct because every relationship is different!

      Reply
      • Loverboy69

        I think this article pretty much shows especcially older people how we (teenagers) feel and think during this phase of life.
        Some points this boy’s mentioning how erver are a bit too much, maybe a bit over exaggerated. He’s just telling us how he was/ is feeling and trys to summarize it in this text. This text may show some teens what’s going on and maybe why they’re feeling certain things or that other teens feel just the same. But It should be clear that every teen goes through different stages or phases and that it’s totally fine. So if your a teen and don’t feel that same or maybe have the urge to do something that he’s not mentioning or others aren’t doing then maybe just do it. At the end of the day these things are the points that make us unique.

        Reply
  3. Jane Doe

    This is entirely inaccurate. This is a cynical adult’s take on testing the longevity of a teenage relationship through their insecurity and immaturity. These “4 Phases” do not describe what a relationship is like, because each relationship doesn’t fit into a four-step plan.

    Reply
    • Kalista Maverick

      Exactly. This is some guy trying to pschoanalyze every teenage relationship.This is why teenagers get a bad rep.

      Reply
  4. Jane Doe

    If my previous comment is under moderation remove it, that was an impulsive response. Sorry.

    Reply
    • Tim

      I find this very inaccurate, beacause not every realationship starts, goes on or ends like that. Sure there are realationships wich are affected of this Impression, but these kinds of realationships are ridiculous, can you even call them a realationship.
      Why the autor thinks so is, that he maybe has been in a realationship latley and it went exactly like he described in his impression.

      Reply
  5. Wije_Roxx

    This is totally false. Do NOT make any decisions by reading this.

    Reply
  6. Daniel Perez

    These stages are weird as like ive barely started sating my GF and like we have started out like both being shy and awkward but we are getting to know each other better as we go along

    Reply
  7. Screw you

    This is one of the most ridiculous things that i have ever read. My gf and i have been together for 6 months now and we love each other as much of not moor then when we first fell in love

    Reply
    • teedot

      you haven’t reached that phase yet, y’all still in the honeymoon phase..

      Reply
      • Jane Doe

        That isn’t true. You can be in a relationship without having to be in a stage. If you have a good relationship,it doesn’t mean that you are living in the honeymoon stage your whole life

        Reply
        • Sean B

          i am currently in a teenage relationship that is not following these phases very well. I hate to admit I may be in an abnormal relationship. phase 1 and 2 may be accurate, and we would be in phase 3, except all the parents know about it, we aren’t trying to prove our love to anybody it’s existence is enough, and we aren’t really that worried about each other having an affair.

          Reply
    • None of your business

      Are you still together? Interested to know…

      Reply
  8. SLK

    I still regret that my love and I were told we were too young (15 and 18) and torn apart because we were told we weren’t old enough. That would have never happed a couple off centuries ago. This is a new social construct. Every relationship is different and teens are as capable of love as any adult. Ignore this article.

    Reply
  9. Wenderz

    It’s not a precise examination on teenage relationships, this is very much based on bias, there is no evidence of anything, just a free opinion from a cynical adult

    Reply
  10. Moffat

    I take it that this article is just like a guide for someone out there who can apply these points..I think it has been well written despite the differences in every relationship out there..If one reads this with a mature mind, its easy to understand and apply..I like this part “However, having some relationship experience can help in dealing with different kinds of situations when kids grow up, and also help when deciding who they want to spend the rest of their lives with.” It entells that some can work out and even get married in future while others would fail..That’s why Time, experience, patience and love can be keys..

    If you are a teenager and reading this, know that relationships need alot of hard work, patience, commitment, trust, love and truth..If both are willing to make it work, it surely does..

    Reply
    • "Dorothy"

      I am in a fairly new relationship, and I feel that I just can’t to anything right. I mean I have been isolating my best friend, and I make my boyfriend feel bad… But we have only been together for 5 weeks, so I have no idea how to interpret this, even if it’s not accurate for all relationships.

      Reply
  11. Jessica

    The article above described how I felt about my first boyfriend in middle school. I have being with him for 2 years before we broke up. However, many years have past, I am an adult now, I still think of him sometimes when I feel lonely and missed the good time we had together even though i know we may never see each other again.

    Reply
  12. Tom

    This is such crap if you love the person and are willing to put effort into the relationship it’ll work.

    Reply
  13. Jane Doe

    This is not accurate at all. I have been with my boyfriend for a year now, and even at this age I can say I love him. We have fights, and we have issues we work through together all the time. Even though we struggle sometimes, we never feel bored or hate each other just because we are teenagers. You cannot define anyone’s relationship at all. This is a very cynical way to look at something that can be healthy and beautiful. I have found my forever person, mo matter how temporary everyone else thinks it is. We have made a promise to each other to always communicate, and get through whatever hardships we are going through together. That is what being in a long lasting relationship is. That’s what defines it, not your age. You cannot put someone in a box. Sure, we aren’t in the honeymoon phase anymore but we are closer because of it.

    Reply
  14. Lily Klein

    I agree

    Reply
  15. People are annoying af

    people tripping on how this isn’t accurate, y’all sit down omg. they never said this applies to every relationship , and to some it may be true while others it isn’t. stop throwing shit on an article just because it wasn’t what you were looking for. i agree with this article because it fits my experience.

    Reply
  16. Ritesh Sinha

    What are the stages of a teenage relationship?

    There can be 4 stages.

    1. When a teen start noticing their attraction towards someone.

    2. Urge of spending more and more time with each other.

    3. Urges of sex and kisses.

    4. Feeling of removing dependencies and need of independence. This leads to breakup.

    Reply
  17. Dylan Atwater

    This article is one big straw man fallacy.

    Reply
  18. John Doe

    so, she’s been my best friend for around 4 years, and we just started dating, but it literally doesn’t feel any different, we act no different than we did before, there has yet to be the “Honeymoon stage”, and neither of us even know what we’re doing, I suggested to just wing it but we don’t know how to do that either. so if you’re wondering, no this article is not fit for a teenage lifestyle, not to my knowledge anyways.

    Reply
  19. Zahira

    I’m just here reading…..

    Reply
    • Yusuf

      Even though I do agree with some things you mentioned but at the same Time it’s hard to categorize something like that because people are more or less unique which led me to believe that your technique may work on some people but it doesn’t work on the majority. But it is still well written. Good Work👍

      Reply
  20. A Guy

    That was beautifully well written.

    Reply
  21. kyan

    Love during adolescence isn’t a waste of time. My parents fell in love when they were teenagers.

    Reply
  22. kyan

    this is the point in life where you learn. I’m in love with a girl right now and there is no phases really. We have little fights now and then but in the end we only become closer and stronger. Sure we both mess up here and there, but she makes me happy, safe, and worthy. Well once she went to bed angry at me, but she woke up around 3am coz it was bothering her. Everytime were angry, we talk things out, even though if she’s angry she needs some time to cool off. And we both made a list of things we need to work on for each other. She means too much for me to lose her. We don’t expect perfection from each because we’re human, but I’d prefer spending my life with her, and she proves that she wants this too.

    Reply

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