The answer is no. Parents think that they know what their child needs, but in reality they are forcing their child to become something that the parents want, molding their child into the perfect student who is a prodigy in class. This is actually the most ineffective way to encourage a student to do better academically.

Making a child fear failure is actually discouraging the child from working harder to improve and grow. When kids occasionally fail in their schoolwork, their parents get angry with them. This indirectly teaches kids to avoid failure at all costs. Children fearing mistakes causes them to associate academic success with parental love, which is a huge problem.

Why don’t parents know what their children need?

Many parents have high expectations for their children, but there is a difference between wanting children to succeed and wanting children to fear failure at all costs – and most parents are teaching their children to fear failure. This overbearing parenting is a major setback for children. If students don’t learn to accept mistakes, they will never be able to learn from them.

A student’s fear of making mistakes can also be a major factor in how stressed they are. Too much stress can cause mental illnesses for young students.

Parents being overbearing

Take my friend as an example: her parents always set high expectations for her without considering her academic situation. Her parents only care about her scores. She has complained and told me about her struggles multiple times. Kids want their parents to talk to them about their struggles like not being able to keep up in class or studying until two in the morning. If parents continue to ignore their child’s struggles, their child will continue to doubt their own academic abilities. This causes a huge problem, mentally, for the child.

On the flip side, there are parents who spend time trying to understand their child’s academic situation. An example of this is my parents.

My parents may not understand or know every detail of my academic studies but they are willing to listen and try to help. This may not seem like much but it means everything to a child. I know that because my parent’s willingness to understand my struggles has encouraged me to work harder and not give up on pursuing academic success.

Ways parents can figure out what their children need in their studies

Parents don’t know what their kids need in their studies but there are ways that they can at least try to understand, like having more parent-child bonding time and meeting with teachers to discuss their children’s academic needs or struggles.

1. More parent-child bonding time

More bonding time can solve the problem of parents misunderstanding what their children need. Parent-child bonding time can pull them closer together, making it easier for students to open up about their academic struggles.

When parents are willing to talk to children about their academic situation without bringing their expectations into the conversation, the children are more able to present their problems. Parents are then able to help their children with academic struggles and questions.

2. Meet with teachers regarding their child’s academic needs

If parents want a clearer and more in depth understanding of their child’s exact academic situation, they should contact their child’s teacher. The teacher will have the best insight about the student’s academic situation.

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In conclusion, parents don’t actually know what their children need in their studies, but it doesn’t have to stay that way. There are ways to change this situation: have more parent-child bonding time, encourage parents to talk to teachers, and simply let their children decide what they want to learn.

All these things will only work if parents support their children wholeheartedly without trying to discourage or judge them.