Almost every teen has seen a show or movie like this: a poor girl meets a rich and arrogant boy who eventually falls in love with her and changes his ways to be with her. Her life changes completely and they live happily ever after.

While these stories may seem entertaining and harmless, watching too many romantic dramas can mess with teenagers’ minds due to the hard time we have telling what is real and what is fiction. Since our ideas about relationships are based on the limited experiences we have, many teenagers may not fully understand the messages these dramas are sending. As a result, some teens may develop unrealistic expectations about relationships and love.

Unrealistic expectations

One major problem with romantic dramas is that they create unrealistic expectations. According to research by Amy Pezdolt, a graduate student researcher at the University of Florida, romantic movies influence how people think about love by presenting idealized versions of romance.

Most romantic dramas portray fairy tale love where everything is perfect and being in a relationship is the only thing that matters. For example, many shows focus on “love at first sight,” or happy coincidences that end up being fate bringing two people together.

In Crash Landing on You, a Korean drama series, the female lead accidentally gets swept away by a tornado while paragliding and lands in North Korea, where she meets an army officer. Even though they are strangers from enemy countries, they fall in love after spending only a small amount of time together, risking their lives for each other. The implication is that two strangers fated to be together can fall in love immediately without knowing each other.

Because teenagers don’t know any better, shows like Crash Landing On You might lead teens to expect real relationships to function the same way. Some may believe that true love should happen instantly, always feel exciting, or be full of dramatic moments. When real-life relationships do not match these unrealistic expectations, teenagers may become disappointed and emotionally frustrated. Teens in this state are deluded about what real relationships should be like, which can ultimately lead to social isolation and relationship breakdown.

If teens are overwhelmed by unrealistic expectations, they will feel inadequate and have a negative self-image.

Unhealthy interpretation of relationships

One other reason romantic dramas can be toxic for teens is they make us think relationships are crazy dramatic. There is one drama, which I confess to having enjoyed, where the rich boyfriend spies on his girlfriend and controls her life. But the way the show presented this relationship was that the boyfriend was just super in love instead of being a controlling creep.

If that sounds familiar, you have probably watched Boys Over Flowers, a Thai TV series in which an extremely rich and powerful boy becomes interested in an ordinary girl. Even though he is basically an obsessive stalker, the drama portrays his behavior as romantic and attractive. Teens who see the drama might interpret this behavior as a way to show interest in someone.

Another problem with these dramas is that they focus only on relationships while ignoring important parts of life such as academics, career, and family. Everything in the characters’ lives suddenly becomes entirely about romance. Without enough grounding in reality, teens might come to believe that love and romance are the only things that matter in life.

Reality

Although romantic dramas are entertaining, teens should know that dramas are fake and unrealistic on purpose. Teenagers need to recognize the difference between healthy relationships and toxic behaviors shown in dramas. Just because something looks romantic on screen does not mean it would be healthy or acceptable in real life.

Finally, teenagers should avoid comparing their own relationships and lives to fictional stories. Real relationships are not fairy tales filled with dramatic coincidences, rich CEOs, or “love at first sight” encounters. Real relationships require communication, trust, compromise, and time to grow.