When we were kids, our parents would often say, “Don’t talk to strangers.” That might be a useful rule for little kids who don’t know better, but as a teenager this rule is more nuanced.

Talking to strangers is safe, especially now that we are grown up; it can allow you to explore new perspectives and meet interesting people you otherwise would never talk to. By interacting with unfamiliar people, we are able to add more color to our lives and develop communication skills.

Why people don’t talk to strangers

People in everyday situations avoid talking to strangers not just because of awkward silences, but also because they worry about saying the wrong things.

But imagine a world where you greeted strangers wherever they went. People used to do that all the time, but for some reason we barely talk to strangers anymore. What changed?

The main reason I fear talking to strangers is because I worry new people will think I am boring to talk to. However, I realize that most people are not judging me. Everyone else has their own lives and concerns on their minds, so I shouldn’t be so worried that they are looking at every little thing I do.

For example, I was on a bus with my school project on my lap, when the lady sitting next to me noticed it. She asked me about it, and I even explained to her how it works (it was a marble maze that I made in STEM). She told me she had wanted to ask me about the project for a long time, but was scared that it would be a boring question to ask. This showed me that starting a conversation with a stranger was not so hard.

Another reason I can be shy is because I magnify my mistakes when I am nervous. Sometimes when I say something weird, I feel like it’s the end of the world, when in reality people don’t notice that much. When I experience social anxiety, I often fidget or stammer, which I think makes me look like a freak. I judge myself after every conversation.

However, it is important to remember that everyone has their own lives to worry about. For them, you are just a stranger that they will not meet again, so it doesn’t matter if you say something kind of awkward. People might be experiencing the same problem as me, so when everyone is focused on their mistakes, the mistakes aren’t such a big deal.

Benefits of talking to strangers

Talking to strangers is surprisingly informative. Communicating with strangers can increase your knowledge, since you can learn about different cultures and hear from different perspectives, or even simply learn something that you didn’t know before.

When you’re lost in a foreign country, locals are often good sources of information that you cannot find online. For instance, I once went to Spain with my family and we were waiting in line for a restaurant that looked old and crappy. A local approached us and asked why we would want to line up for this restaurant since it was not as good as it looks online. He said that there was a diner he knew that served better food for a better price.

We followed him to the diner and were awed by the amazing structure. The diner was built under this huge, cave-like arch that stretched over it, with several cats resting under the tables outdoors. We were seated immediately because few tourists were familiar with this diner, and it was cheap compared to the tourist trap restaurants. They had a dish called “Secreto Ibérico”, which meant “secret pork”. It was a special part of the shoulder area of the pig, and few people know the recipe for it.

Thanks to the stranger we talked to, we had our best meal in Spain. If we hadn’t met him, we would’ve ended up at a bad and overpriced restaurant.

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Ronald Waldinger, a psychiatry professor at Harvard Medical School, once stated that “talking with strangers gives us little hits of energy and wellbeing by helping us feel connected to the world, like we belong”.

Talking or praising strangers can also spread kindness in the world. When I scroll on social media, I often see reels like “ranking moments of praising strangers”, “ranking best complimenting strangers”, etc., and this has shown me how much a single sentence to a stranger can change their day. When a compliment comes from a stranger, it somehow feels more genuine than if their family praised them.

Engaging with strangers is a way you can increase your happiness and learn more about the world. Since everything that is stopping you from speaking to strangers is unnecessary worry, why not give talking to strangers a try?