Since social media has become a part of everyone’s lives, people have begun to care about the number of viewers of their stories, likes, and comments on their content. Everyone wants to gain more followers to look popular. People crave attention.

I get it. Getting attention boosts your self-esteem and can make you feel important and appreciated. 

But for many people I see on social media, instead of sharing enjoyable moments, all they seem to do is complain: “Why is my phone dying right when I need it?” “Why do all my friends take forever to text back?” “I can’t stand that guy anymore.”

People love to complain, and it comes off more like bragging than actual complaints. You post your complaints, thinking everyone cares, but you are oversharing and it’s just embarrassing.

The difference between expressing emotion and whining

Many people mistake whining for expressing emotion. These two are similar, but they make people feel differently. 

People facing tough times usually don’t share their emotions on social media; they prefer confiding in someone they trust. When they do post, it’s often just a single and direct message about their struggles. 

In contrast, those who whine flood their feeds with trivial complaints. Genuine emotional expression is normal, but when it becomes overly dramatic, incessant, and it is about unimportant gripes, it turns into whining.

Reasons people complain

Some people who constantly post complaints just want sympathy. They want you to comment “Are you okay?” when they post about getting dumped. Or they want to hear, “He sucks,” and “You deserve better,” when it’s about their ever-important relationship issues. Or they might whine, “This test has way too many mistakes. That’s why I didn’t do so well on it,” but it’s really just because they’re dumb. People like this typically don’t get sympathy from anyone when they complain on social media. Instead, they’re just showing their need for validation.

Moreover, some people who complain are engaging in “sadfishing” by being overly dramatic. They do this because, in real life, no one pays them any attention. When people post this kind of negativity to stir up drama, thinking they’re making a big scene, I find it cringeworthy.

I also hate it when people don’t have any complaints at all but still try to whine on social media. For example, my friend once texted me saying she was feeling bored. A minute later, I saw her Instagram story yapping about how the boys were being too irritating by being too loud in class. However, she had been chatting with them. She was bored, so because she had nothing better to do, she made up drama. Some people just enjoy complaining online. Please just shut up.

Another reason people complain is because of narcissism. Narcissists believe everything revolves around them. One time, one of my classmates posted a selfie on Instagram. The next day, my friends and I just happened to talk about how attractive the kids in the drama club looked. Instead of considering that we were talking about someone else entirely, she immediately assumed we were judging her features and made it all about herself. That night, she posted on Instagram saying we were being rude, completely missing the point that we hadn’t even been thinking about her. Her response is classic self-centered behavior – she needed to be the center of attention, even if it meant twisting the truth.

Impact on friendship

Once, a classmate from junior high who didn’t have many friends would often share his problems with me and seek my advice on how to make more friends. He also wondered whether our classmates liked him or thought he was weird. Initially, I would respond right away whenever he messaged me, thinking it was kind to help. However, after a while, I found myself not wanting to reply.

Always complaining is a friendship killer. If you’re constantly whining, your friends will eventually get annoyed and avoid you. Nobody wants to deal with a perpetual downer who can’t see the bright side of anything. If you keep yapping about your problems, don’t be shocked when people bail on you. It’s exhausting to listen to that negativity all the time. 

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Complaining constantly is exhausting to both the complainer and the receiver. Next time you want to vent, please make it private. Posting every negative thing on social media does not make you cool or solve your problems. Don’t be the pity party everyone secretly hates.